Day 3 - Monday, September 29

5PM

We're at Club B-10, Mass MoCA's intimate performance space, shooting Jessica's cameo in the movie. Jessica is playing the acclaimed performance artist Vajj, whose most recent work is attended by Nikki, Alice and Alice's snooty college mates Meredith and Glencora. I suggested that Jessica rewrite Vajj's performance to accomodate her pregnancy, and now she won't tell me what she's come up with. Michael has also recruited his friend Aaron to play a jig during Jess' performance; because Aaron is also appearing in a different scene tonight, we've decided to give him a mask. Jess and Jessica went on a mission to find the strangest mask possible, and they've returned with a mask of a grinning old crone with a cap that reads "I Bingo." The sight of Aaron wearing the mask is completely terrifying - it looks like something that Conal Cochran designed to kill children. We have extras tonight, so I get to set the scene and give each audience member a bit of business. I'm enjoying the crowd control aspect of filmmaking.

I call action, and Aaron starts his jig. Jessica's performance is helped by her years of working at MoCA and navigating both the fascinating and ridiculous aspects of the art world. Vajj's act is like Oklahoma! by way of Ann-Sofi Siden, a demented harvest dance peppered with perfectly hamhanded symbolism. When Jessica finishes Vajj's act by mutilating a gourd, she taps into the kind of unchecked rage that only a very pregnant woman is capable of, emitting a primal scream before collapsing. She gets huge applause from the extras, and she's earned it - Jessica rarely gets the chance to show how far she's capable of going and how funny she can be, and I'm happy she made the most of this chance. A quick exchange between our leads, then we move on.

9PM

My friend Chris has gotten us a room at the mountainside resort he works at for our "private party" scene, which involves Nikki, at a low point emotionally, working at a bachelor party with her adversary, Czech dancer Nadja. Nadja is played by Kt Baldassaro, an actor and model whose work can be seen most prominently in the web series Without You, and is also an accomplished weaver. Kt auditioned in July, did strong readings of a couple characters but expressed a strong preference for Nadja - her desire to play the kinkier, less likable character intrigued me and pretty much got her the role. Right now, Kt's lost somewhere on Route 43 - understandable, given that the resort is as close to the middle of nowhere as one can get. Chris helps us direct her to the resort over the phone, and we check into our suite.

We realize when we get there that the room is missing one crucial prop: alcohol. Thinking out loud, I suggest that perhaps it would play funnier if the guys only had soda and popcorn to offer, but Bella cuts me off. "There's no way these guys wouldn't be already drunk and have booze to offer the dancers. Never happens." This is one of the reasons I wanted Bella for the part - someone to call bullshit on any details of my mostly-imagined script or the production - so I defer to her wisdom and send Ron and Chris to pick up booze. Bella also suggests porn for the TV, and happens to have a copy of Cum on My Tattoo #3 in her car. As we find a scene to play in the background, I realize that, if there was any doubt before, we have now definitely crossed into NC-17 territory.

Ben, an MCLA student playing groom-to-be Dale, comments on a woman getting penetrated in at least two orifices. "She doesn't look like she's having any fun."

"She isn't," KT responds.

Bella adds, "Actually, that's her husband."

Chris is sweet during the scene; he's never acted and is concerned about doing a good job, and he's afraid of what his wife's reaction will be. He does a great job as best man Tim, basically playing himself (that is, an easygoing dude who likes ladies). The latter fear is mostly unfounded, as there's little nudity in the scene - actually, what nudity there is mostly male, as a passed-out Tim and Dale are manipulated by Nadja into a homoerotic tableaux.

As Chris is stripping down to his skivvies and Ben goes full frontal, Ben tells Chris that "I'm glad I don't have a hard-on or anything. You might think I was gay."

"Yeah, I know," Chris says, "Me too. Ha ha."

Kt locates a wounded quality in Nadja that deepens her exchange with Nikki. What I'd written as Nadja's attempt to challenge Nikki's assumptions is playing as an attempt to relate with Nikki. She's easy to direct, knows when to embellish and when to stick to script, and it's a pleasure to read later that she's declared Black Light "[...] the cleanest stress-free shoot."

We then move into the bedroom for the scene between Nikki and Brent (the other character played by Aaron), a seemingly normal family man with a secret kinky side. I don't want to reveal too much about what happens between Nikki and Brent, but it's a scene that would be hard for any actor to get through without collapsing in defensive laughter. I play the scene in a master and a close-up on Nikki, which gives neither actor anywhere to hide. To his credit, Aaron is totally prepared to do what the scene requires, and it's fascinating to talk with Aaron and Bella about the underlying meanings of the scene and then translate this into action. The scene is as unsettling as I've hoped, but also darkly funny and - not sexy, exactly, but certainly carrying a sexual charge that surprises me.

At one point in the scene as scripted, Nikki confesses, "I'm a whore. I have no love in my heart." Bella says she thinks she should say more. I ask what else Nikki is guilty of.

"'I lie all the time,'" she adds.

"What was it Alice accuses her of? 'You don't make any sense.'"

"'I lie all the time. I don't make any sense and I refuse to change. I'm a whore and I have no love in my heart.'"

After, in the hall, we shoot Nikki leaving the party. The script has her breaking down, but that seems too big now, so we pull back. I call action, Bella opens the door and Chrissies it - in a few moments we see Nikki's exhaustion, confusion, misplaced anger and other areas that are Bella's to know and the camera's to guess at. We're done, and it's late - I think about hopping in the room's jacuzzi, but I fear I may not leave until morning.